every single person tells more than one stories, so i decide to take a group photo of my platoon to do my visual trigger. this is a photo taken after we had completed our final exercise, crescendo, and we are having a dinner at a ballroom inside the Thailand camp:

Edwin has done it again. For the third time today, he has pissed of all of the members in his team. The meeting come to an end when all of the members leaves the meeting room, with no conclusion for the current problem at hand.

Jack stops at the door and says, ‘This is not my problem. I will not help in this. No, no, no, i don’t care. What else can you say? Look, for the third time we gathered here, and for the third time you said the same thing! What are you thinking?’

Edwin looks up and replies to Jack, ‘This is not my fault. I never do anything wrong, I’m perfect. I won’t do anything that is not my problem. It’s your fault. Period.’ Upon finishing his sentence, Edwin stands up with his glass of water in his hands and splashes it at Jack. ‘Do not talk to me like that.’

Drenched, Jack frowns a little but changed to a smiling face almost immediately and turns to Edwin. ‘If you really think that way, i have nothing more to say… Oh wait, I have but one thing to say. Pardon me for this but… FUCK YOU!’ Jack stretches out his right hand and flashes his middle finger at Edwin and storms out of the room.

Edwin remains seating there at the table, looking at the empty table. For the previous two times when the group storms off, Jack remain seating there and reprimanded him for his selfish and irresponsible nature. But after the scolding, soon after Jack leaves the room, the team will just regroup back somehow. Edwin is all alone now. He thinks through in his mind, ‘if jack can get them back, why can’t i?’ He stands up, walk out of the room and see a massive figure standing in the hallway. It is one of his member , Shawn. Edwin approaches Shawn confidently, with his usual smirk on his face.

‘ So Shawn? Get back in there. The problem’s not solve.’

‘Yea? So why i do I need to listen to you?’ Shawn replies calmly, looking up into the ceiling.

‘Because I am the team’s leader, a.k.a., YOUR BOSS!’ With his usual smirk, Edwin says that firmly.

‘I see. But still you are just your father’s son, the director’s son. Sad for him, such a good man only to have such a son as you. I really wonder what the director had done to deserve such treatment.’ Allowing his son to do as he wishes, the director is not a good man either. Shawn says that he sympathise the director just to spite Edwin.

‘YOU!’ But before Edwin can continue anything more, Shawn’s broad hand has already lift him up in the air. Shawn’s rantings continues.

‘Not your fault, not your fault! If it wasn’t for you, he won’t die. He won’t DIE!’

‘*cough* Shawn, relax, listen to me. I was operating the machine to lift up the load of products. How would i know that it will fall off? *cough* And he was the one that ran under that load, it was him who wants to get killed, its not that i killed him? Plus, it was the load that killed him, not me! *cough, cough*’ Shawn twist his hand to tighten Edwin’s clothes, making him to experience a difficulty in breathing.

‘Where did the load falls on?’ Shawn asks Edwin. “The exact area? It’s, it’s the control panel.”

‘And who was at the control panel?’ “…*mumble*”

‘SPEAK UP!’ “…Me…” Edwin is beginning to realise something. This group that he is leading never respected him. Whenever any of his subordinate meets him anywhere, they will first look at him and look away. That is not holding him in awe, as he always thought so, that was ignoring. He is what he is today, is all because he is the director’s son. He has never been able to mix around well with other people, let alone lead. During secondary school, as the class monitor, he always bring his class to the wrong science laboratory and will start to blame others for distracting him. During his JC, as the outdoor activity club member, he failed to teach his junior how to do lashing the correct way as he himself do not know how to do it in the first place. During his army days, the whole platoon ostracised him for being a selfish brat who only knows how to report sick and fall out during exercises, leaving the rest of the platoon to suffer and complete the duties which was initially his. However, there is this one guy who still talks to Edwin, his name is Jack.

Jack never did well in his studies, but his rapport with the people, is superb. So even when Jack mixes with ‘The Scholar’, a name given to Edwin in a sarcastic manner, the platoon still treat Jack as a very good friend so Jack became a medium for Edwin and the platoon. After army, Edwin went on with his studies in university and Jack started to work. Years later, when Edwin graduated as an engineer, he joins his father’s warehouse company and start off as a group manager in charge of maintenance and he decides to look for Jack to help him out. Coincidently, Jack had just lost his job so he joins Edwin’s team as a technician in training.

Edwin feels pain on his right cheek as Shawn punches his face. Shawn continues his questioning, ‘Do you know because of your incapability and stubbornness, a life’s gone. You know yourself that you are not very familiar with that machine and yet you insist to be the operator despite all of our objection. A leader that do not listen. What kind of leader are you? The meeting is held for us to settle the funeral and to come out with solutions for his family, and you just keep pushing the responsibility. Putting the mis-operation of the machine aside, he died while saving you! Are you even human? Or did you even not realise that? He ran there and push you aside because you were going to press the ‘unload’ button while that bloody load is on top of you!’

‘That, was the ‘unload’ button? Him… he died for me…,’ Tears roll down Edwin’s swollen cheek and he continues, ‘Jack, i’m sorry. I always acted mighty and so full of myself, the snobbish, self centered me… Jack, you shouldn’t have saved me! You wouldn’t need to die. It’s all… MY FAULT!’ Shawn let go of Edwin’s shirt and he falls to the ground. Edwin looks at the massive silhouette walk down the hallway, somehow, he knows that Shawn is regrouping back the team for the meeting, again.

Edwin turn his head to the other side of the hallway where the door to the meeting room is. He sees Jack standing at the door and stretches out his right hand with an open palm, as though he is reaching for Edwin to pull him up. Edwin turns back his head and lean it on the wall. He closes his eyes to force out all the tears that are still rolling inside and thinks to himself, ‘ I would rather see Jack’s middle finger than his open palm…’